Hella Rad Questions with Dave and Jade
by vodka-gamzee
Summary: Dave and Jade answer stupid and smart ass questions for your entertainment. Also they answer reviewer questions and shout outs. Probably rated t for language.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so this was gonna be an attack on titan fic but the more I thought about it the better it seemed to be homestuck..Uggg I don't even know. Ok so please enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Homestuck. **

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Jade: Hello! And this is...um...Dave will you say the title? I don't think I can do it...

Dave: Sure thing Jade, this is Hella Rad Questions with Dave and Jade.

Jade: Hehe yes! On this show we take your wonderful questions and answer them to the best of our ability!

Dave: Ok, so since this is our first episode yo, we already have some questions selected. Uh, Jade, can you read the first question?

Jade: Hehe sure thing Dave! Our first question is whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?

Dave: I do not know, go ask Sollux.

Jade: Dave! That was rude! Sollux can't help that he has a lisp!

Dave: Haha I'm sorry Jade.

Jade: You should be...ok! And our next question is what was the best thing before sliced bread?

Dave: Sex.

Jade: Dave!

Dave: What?

Jade: Thats...thats...inappropriate...

Dave: I'm sorry Jade, I didn't mean to offend you.

Jade: It's okay. I'll read another question. If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing "Happy Birthday?"

Dave: Now what the hell kind of question is that? Of course they do because it is a candle factory.

Jade: Hm...I guess you would be right.

Dave: I always am.

Jade: Okay, so we have time for one more question.

Dave: Ooo! Ooo! I'm gonna spin some sick raps for the last questions answer!

Jade:...Okay Dave. Our last question is what hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

Dave: Alright here go my sick rhymes...

Hair color, of a bald man  
Dude can't drive a Sudan  
Cuz on dat license  
Not having hair is a crisis  
No hair means no color  
Don't be no baller  
It's a N  
For all those bald men

Jade: Wow Dave that was so cool!

Dave: Of course it was, I'm the coolest person ever

Jade: Hehe! Well thats all the time for questions today!

Dave: We encourage you to leave questions in the reviews.

Jade: Yes, please do so we have more questions to answer!

Dave: Cuz if you don't leave questions you're a loser

Jade: Dave!

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**Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed and please leave questions in the reviews. Feel free to ask as many questions, and whatever questions you want. Please favorite and follow! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Alrighty chapter 2 of Hella Rad Questions With Dave and Jade is now up ready to read! Please enjoy. **

**Disclaimer:I don't own homestuck.**

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Jade: Hello! And welcome to episode two of...Dave?

Dave: Hella Rad Questions With Dave and-

Jade: Jade! So today we have questions that you guys, the viewers asked. It's my turn to answer questions. So Dave will read the questions.

Dave: Sure thing Jade. Okay so _Spy of Influence _asks you, Jade, besides from hanging out with John or davesprite, what else did you do for three years on the ship?

Jade: Ummm well, since my mother's grandmother was Betty Crocker, I sometimes liked to cook when I was alone. I thought it would make some people happy. Hehe.

Dave: And you are a wonderful cook. Okay, next question is for me. What was it like growing up? Surely it was more than smupets and roof strifes with a serving of sword stuffed refrigerators and spiked AJ.

Jade: Well?

Dave: I really don't wanna talk about it. It was just like that and thats all you need to know about my life.

Jade: Umm okay. Why don't you read more questions?

Dave: Oh, yeah. Um..ok let's see here. Ack..

Jade: What is it Dave?

Dave: Ok, well because _VelvetLampshade _is a smart ass, the following questions are all from them.

Jade: Oh my.

Dave: Here we go:Why is Greenland called green when it is covered in ice?

Jade: Well actually, there was a viking leader, sorry but his name escapes my memory, who was out exploring for new land when he came across what we today know as Greenland and Iceland. This viking leader wanted the luscious green land for himself so to confuse other people trying to travel to these lands he named the land covered in ice Greenland and the land of green Iceland.

Dave: Wow Jade. You're really smart.

Jade: Hehe, thanks. What's the next question?

Dave: Umm, let's see, it's: What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?

Jade: Well, that wouldn't be very nice to choke someone, let alone a smurf.

Dave: Why you gotta be so damn precious?

Jade: Hehe. Another question please?

Dave: Sure. If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Jade: Well if he could fix the problem that quickly then there would be no plot to the story and it would lack conflict.

Dave: Very true that is.

Jade: Do we have time for a few more questions?

Dave: Yup. Here's one: Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

Jade: Getting your dog "fixed"? I'm sorry Dave I don't think I understand...

Dave: Am I gonna have to explain this to you?

Jade: Yes please

Dave: *whispers into Jades ear*

Jade: THEY DO WHAT?

Dave: Yeah...sorry you had to know that.

Jade:...

Dave: Ok...maybe I should just read the next question. If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

Jade:...

Dave: Jade?

Jade:...

Dave: Jade? Jade I need you to snap out of it.

Jade:...

Dave: Okay. I'm gonna end this episode right here. But, I might as well answer this question in a sick rhyme, right? Here goes:

This is a rhyme  
That involves limes  
Why aren't they called greens?  
Who decided that, the queen?  
And lemons should be yellow  
I mean hello?  
They called and orange, orange  
And uh...fuck nothing rimes with orange

Dave: That its for today right Jade?

Jade:...

Dave: Uh..yeah. Ok. Bye.

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**Thank you so much for reading! Please review and ask me questions! They are essential to making this story work! Please leave your questions in the reviews. Thanks! **


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